How unfortunate
by BwaBwaimagoat
Summary: Summary: America decides one morning that he is going to test his old time machine and is sent back in time to when England is still a pirate. Pirate! Iggy/Shark bait! America… T for my inserted potty mouth and maybe violence.
1. Prologue

Summary: America decides one morning that he is going to test his old time machine and is sent back in time to when England is still a pirate. Pirate! Iggy/Shark bait! America…

A/N: Yeah I know way over done right? I need the practice (though I'm never going to get better). So this is for Colavixen for helping me out and giving me the idea. Thank you my dear! I hope you find this all right! Also, just a prologue at the moment. It's going to be short simply for the sake of me being lazy, my caffeine high is starting to crash, and it's pretty freakin' late right now. Well, sort of late for me. So here you go enjoy!

-MEHMEHMEH-

"Alrighty Tony! Remember just press the red button when I give you the signal!" America called as he climbed into the container.

'This is gonna be awsome!' he thought as he readied himself for his first test run of the time machine he had built years ago.

This was the greatest idea he had come up with ever, even if he was half-asleep when he came up with it.

Smiling like the hero he wasn't, he flashed Tony the alien a thumb up signaling that he was ready to begin.

Said alien shook his head in disgust at the nation's idiocy he pressed the red button.

There was a flash of lights as the power surged and then America was gone, presumably in the distant past.

Look at your man! Now back to me! –

When America woke up, he glared up at the offending light shining in his eyes only to be greeted by a sharp blade pressing against his throat.

Stiffening he looked up, his blue eyes round as saucers as they rested on the familiar apple green ones of England.

"Who the bloody hell are ye' boy?" The older nation growled pressing the curved blade harder against the soft flesh of America's throat.

A small line of blood seeped from the shallow wound as he swallowed.

"Uh… I'm uh… Alfred?"

-BLEHBLEHBLEH-

A/N: Yes, this is crap! God I'm tired. That's what happens when you live on cherry soda and coffee for the past couple days. I haven't had caffeine since like noon! But yeah, this is short but it's only a prologue. Hopefully if I don't slack too much I can turn out some longer chapter and not totally fail at this. If you are actually interested in reading farther than this after I start updating then review and give me some requests of possible future events and some characters you want to show up. Heck they can even be oc's just make sure you explain them or something… Uh… bye.


	2. That's disgusting

A/N: First real chapter. I hope it doesn't disappoint too badly. I tried! Really I did! Thank you everyone for the reviews, favorites, and alerts! I really appreciate it! Also, I did most of this at one in the morning. So if there are any mistakes I am so very sorry!

Warnings: Violence, vomiting, and maybe some profanity (I automatically skip over certain words).

Disclaimer: I own nothing!

~Cherry ~

Alfred woke up slowly, not even bothering to open his eyes as an intense ache made itself known between his eyes and the side of his skull.

He had no idea the old man was going to bash him upside his head with that stupid sword of his. As soon as he found him he was going to teach the old man a thing or two.

Rolling onto his side he groaned as his insides seemed to slosh sideways with him. It was like he had the flu or a hangover.

Damn it all. All he had wanted to do was go back he meet whoever had invented the hamburger. Was that too much to ask for? Apparently it was, because at the moment he was stuck in whatever time it was that England decided to play pirate, except he wasn't playing.

He twitched when the door smashed open making his headache even worse. Booted feet stomped over to stand in front of him.

He peeked through his lashes at the figure before him. Of course, it was England. Who else would it be? Finland?

"I know you're awake, boy." The old dog growled, he could feel those familiar, yet strangely unfamiliar, green eyes burning holes into his already pounding skull.

" Yeah, well I'm not really trying to hide that I'm awake." His voice was raspy, like he hadn't used his voice for a while or like he hadn't had a drink for a few hours.

" Don't be smart with me, boy." England snapped, stomping on Alfred's stomach.

He groaned in agony. What the hell was with all of the abuse from this guy? He wasn't like the England he knew.

"Get up." He ignored the order and instead continued to hold his now heaving stomach.

It would suck to blow chunks all over the pirate's floor and boots, especially considering he would probably get kicked again or maybe something worse.

" I believe I said to get up!" The Englishman reached down and grabbed a hold of the injured man's blond hair and yanked him into a sitting position.

Eyes clenched shut as tight as possible; he felt the contents of his stomach empty all over him, the floor, and England's boots.

"Disgusting!" The pirate spat, his nose wrinkling at the acidic scent, and stepped away from the aching Alfred.

The young man felt like crying. But he wouldn't cry, because that was un-heroic and only babies cried. The last time he checked he hadn't been a baby for a long time.

" Yeah and it's your fault douche-bag." Alfred shouted back, bracing himself for another attack.

He was not expecting the elder man to begin cackling wildly. 'Damn this is confusing!' He though to himself as England continued to chuckle, his eyes full of mirth.

"If I'd known I just had to insult you to make you laugh, I would have done it sooner." Alfred glared into those ridiculously amused green eyes with his own blue pair.

" Shut your gob and come along, boy." Another order, who the hell does he think he is? Oh right, wasn't he a captain?

" I don't think I can…" He grumbled, complaining in his head at the cause of his pains.

" Nonsense! On your feet!" England reached down and grabbed a hold of his arm and yanked him up onto his feet.

The sudden motion caused Alfred's stomach to lurch once again and he vomited on the other man, only this time he got it on the pirate's clothes rather than his boots.

With a yelp the green eyed man jumped away, staring at him in horror and disgust. "I told you I didn't think I could…"

~Cherry ~

A/N: Eeeew, I hate watching people barf! It's so nasty! One reason to fear the offspring of our species! So here you go! I'll start on the next chapter soon. Sorry for the abrupt endings. I'm not good with how I end stuff. But I blame this as always finishing stuff when I should be very much asleep! I'm also sorry that it is still pretty short. Enjoy. Please review or something I guess… Advice would be nice or you can just tell me what you think! Bye for now!


	3. Haha poor America

A/N: Didn't start this till yesterday. I'm still spazzing on coffee. I love that shit! This chapter however, I hate worse than usual. I kept restarting this and this is what I got. I stink. I finished this during family therapy, awsome right? I stink like coffee and failure. Why are you people alerting this so much? Seriously, please tell me why. Hopefully you can enjoy this pile of shit. By the way, this is all un-betaed.

Ducky: Hi! I'm imaduckQuaQua, and I approve of this message not at all.

Warning: Violence, profanity, absolute nonsense, stuff

Disclaimer: I don't own…

~ Bang bang, my baby shot me down ~

" Damn Wanker!" England spat at Alfred, who was now tied to the mast. He was still covered in the boy's vomit and all he could say was that it was rather vile.

The crew whistled and chuckled at the spectacle.

He stared up at the enraged man, not sure of what he could possibly do to calm him down.

"I told you…" He repeated yet again for what had to be the hundredth time since his 'accident.' His chest ached from the rough treatment and now the too tight ropes digging into his most likely bruised or at worst cracked ribs.

" Well, that certainly helps, now doesn't it, lad?" The green eyed man growled. Alfred swallowed thickly when one of his hands reached for his sword.

He shook his head, suddenly unable to speak. This had to be the worst possible thing to happen to him since Japan had bombed Pearl Harbor all those years ago.

"Apologize lad and I may take mercy on you." The pirate smirked drawing his curved blade from his side and brushing its tip against the captive's throat.

Alfred offered him a shaky smile, " Sorry that you didn't believe me?"

England growled deep in his throat. His nose wrinkled in distaste at the boy's 'apology' and dug the tip of his sword into the soft flesh of his shoulder.

Alfred whimpered but otherwise did not respond. He was used to the pain by now and didn't bother whining over a new one to add to the others.

"A proper apology if you will." The older nation sneered and dug the blade in deeper, savoring his victims pain filled whimpers.

Alfred grimaced up at the pirate, he really wanted to kick his ass right about now, and he would certainly deserve it.

That however, was not an option. He couldn't give away that he was a nation like England since the other had yet to figure it out even though he was sure there were plenty of signs.

Plus, if he did anything too catastrophic he could change the future in ways that could be down right horrible.

Like for example, it could be France who ends up raising him and then he would end up being a cheese eating surrender monkey* or Russia could become the ruler of the world and that one guy, what was his name, Canada, would help him out for revenge because they always forgot about him.

"I'm waiting lad." England growled impatiently, his acid green eyes narrowing dangerously before twisting the blade.

Alfred yelped, biting his lip to keep himself distracted from the nearly overwhelming pain. He glared, the edges of his vision slowly darkening.

"Kiss my ass old man." He snarled, just as the blade in his shoulder was jerk out of the torn and bleeding flesh. Their audience gasped collectively as though this were one of Korea or Spain's silly dramas.

Except this wasn't just a silly show he was watching at the moment.

He winced, as the sun's glare seemed to shine directly into his eyes and for once he actually read the atmosphere**, the tension in the air felt thick enough to cut with a knife.

It was like everyone was holding his or her breath.

"Prat!" England's blade gleamed red with the future nation's blood in the sunlight as it swung at his neck.

Alfred closed his blue eyes for what he feared would be the last time.

~ Ta-dah ~

* Something imaduckQuaQua says about anyone even a tiny bit French, including herself.

** -Gasp- Like no way! America can read the atmosphere? What can this possibly mean?

A/N: Oooh, I am such a bitch~… this is still really short. I hope it's not too bad. I really hate not knowing what the hell I'm trying to do people. I fear this is worse than usual.

So please tell me if there are any mistakes or there is certain character, couple, or event you wish to maybe see in the future. I will try my best to include them at some point or another. I'm also still taking requests if anyone wants to help me waste away my time.

~ Till next time!


	4. TaDah!

A/N: I'm tired… It took longer to finish this than I thought it would, and I'm kind of ashamed with myself. How many Cherry's does it take to fail at fluff? Just one people. Just one.

Warning: Profanity, violence, major failed attempt at something fluffy

Disclaimer: Not mine

~ I hate the doctor's office ~

America clenched his eyes closed as tightly as he could as he waited for the curved blade to make contact with his throat.

After a minute of nothing, he hesitantly peeked open an eye. He gasped in shock.

He was in the stupid test-tube* thing. Which meant that he wasn't in the past anymore!

Pushing open the container, America jumped out with a cry of joy. Tony shook his head again.

"Tony, it worked man!" The American exclaimed excitedly, already forgetting his recent trauma and near death experience. "But dude, we got the calculations wrong! I went way to far back!"

"Figures." The alien grumbled foul temperedly.

"Haha come on cheer up! We can try again!" He said with a wave of his hand.

Tony's, " Oh joy..." was ignored as he walked up the stairs.

" Damn does this shit hurts!" America mumbled to himself as he walked out of his basement. What the hell had been England's problem back then?

It wasn't a surprise the guy didn't have many friends if that's how he treated everyone.

He rubbed his shoulder stiffly. He had to admit though; it was pretty cool to see the real thing after only hearing about it since he was still just a kid.

After tearing apart half of his house looking for his medical kit, "why the hell had it been behind the stove?" he asked himself aloud as he wondered into his bathroom to patch himself up just as his doorbell rang.

"SHIT!" He shrieked as he ran out of the little room just as he managed to pull off his shirt.

Answering the door with a forcefully cheerful smile, he froze when he locked eyes with a pair of very familiar apple green eyes.

"Bloody hell! What the fuck happened Alfred?" _His_ England cried, those now horror filled eyes glued to the torn, still bleeding wound and bruises blooming on his torso.

"Nothing! Don't worry Artie! Everything's fine." He chuckled, scratching the back of his heard nervously. There was no way in hell that he was going to tell the older nation about his recent… adventure.

" Nothing my arse!" The older nation shrieked, "How can you just blow this off as nothing?"

America shrugged, averting his eyes and staring at anything that wasn't England.

"Alfred, I'm serious! Who did this to you?" It was touching how worried the Brit was.

He chuckled and leaned down to catch Arthur's frowning lips with his own.

A moment later when they leaned away from each other, the smaller nation's face burning, America pulled him in. "Not important! Help me patch up will ya?"

"Fine," England shuddered as he took a closer look at the already healing gash. "But what the hell did this?"

Alfred smiled nervously, " Don't worry about it!"

Later when he was finally all bandaged up and he had managed to forget his little adventure, he snuggled in his bed with the other blond.

" Night Artie." He mumbled breathing in the scent of England. Fresh rain and tea.

"Good night Alfred." The other man sighed, nuzzling his shoulder sleepily.

That night, America dreamed of pirates and the open sea.

~ I hate getting shots too ~

* I seriously have no idea what those things are called.

A/N: So I didn't kill America… My god I suck. Damn my being sick! Why the hell do you people read my stuff? I tried for something different at the end of this and no! This is not the end! I mean, what the hell? I didn't actually do shit! So I'll try to have the next chapter up some time next week. Hopefully it will solve the shitty ending in this one. Sorry! I finished this while I had a bad fever. I couldn't figure out what I was doing for my life! Long author's note is fucking long.

Reviews and requests keep me from turning into a head case.

~ I like my coffee delicious, thank you.


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